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3 hours away from French test.
i know i wont pass it. coz its bloody.HARD. %$#@$%^&**
No mood to study at all!!!!!!!!!!!!
all i know is...
un/une
duex
trois
quatre
cinq
six
septh
huit
neuf
deux
onze
douze
treize
quatorze
quinze
seize
dix sept
dix huit
dix neuf
vingt
one to twenty in french. (from the top of my head)
im freaking anxious about it.
I Hate Myself
I really do..... oh well sometimes. I always succumb to feelings and desires that i am not suppose to have all the time. That's the case with eating, spending money, my spiritual life, my promises to God and other people. I feel so bad only i repeated the mistake again and again.
Sigh. Why can't I be assertive in the decisions that i make? And i keep making excuses to console myself... its makes me feel really pathetic. I keep disappointing God (especially) and other people whenever i break my promise? and i really don't want to anymore.
I'm sorry God.
I really am.
I know i said sorry like a million time.
But every time i think if i am really forgiven.
I know i am by Your grace.
and i don't want to cheapen it.
I'm sorry. Please give me another chance.
I don't want to be a soft person and complacent,
fearful of sacrifices and self humbling.
Now i don't want to go home
can't believe the my trip is finally over. using my last few minutes in the internet.
Hong Kong ---> Seoul ---> Bangkok
i officially gained 2.8 kilo. yes. all my stomach fats are plastered against my tshirt. the butt is obviously bigger. the hips is widers. the thigh .. oh god enough said. the face get rounder. yucks.
i am embarking on a ' how to lose 3 kilo in 10 days' club.
This trip is truly truly truly enjoyable. Bonding with the family. Shopping :)
Eating ( aww. i want more). Meeting different ones from around the world. So now i don't want to go home. coz when i reach home...
1. French Test in one week
2. Meet up for psychology project
3. meet up for mbs project
and a million of other things that i can't remember.....
I can't sleep
Here i am in Seoul. laying down on the bed, feeling super insomniac. its not that late but i really got a few hours to sleep before getting up again. the day before. haven't gotten enough sleep.
so arrived from Hong Kong yesterday.
Hong Kong was really fun! It's similar to Singapore in a way that everything still open till late night. we stayed in an area called Mongkok. it was damn happpening there. it was still so crowded at 12 am. shopping there was not bad. walked around a lot. get a lot of good deals there. some of the clothes are so worth it when there's sale. there's so many overseas brand that wasn't available in singapore.
Not to mention the food. haiya who goes to hong kong and not gain weight.
the worst part of hong kong trip was that we went up to the peak to see the view of the city. it was soooo foggy that we barely see the person standing in front of us. the height of it freaked me out a lot also.
now in seoul.. FOOD here is good. its more authentic and a bit different from all the korean restaurant in singapore. something i notice about hong kong and seoul is that they really have beautiful cafes. at affordable prices. i mean most of the shops and restaurants and cafe are so nicely and beautifully decorated sometimes you just don't want to leave the place :)
oh yes. CLOTHES IN SEOUL IS SUPER DUPER NICE. but the price isn't. if you want to find a decently nice clothes .. not even a shirt.. a tshirt.. in a road side stall.. it can cost up to 60 bucks. walau for a tshirt la!!!!!!
but undeniably the clothes are really nice. and the girls are really pretty and have flattering figure (whether parts of their bodies are real or not).
they have really cool villages for youngsters.. nice accesorries shop. it was really nice overall.
and one thing about korean women they are dressed so elegantly. not too funky like japanese. or not too american style. or not to laid back like back in singapore. haha. it is just nice :)
they have nice and beautiful style hair and you can find arrays of shops beauty shops here. haha
okay i seem to be giving a super long prognosis about my trip. but there's still 2 days left in seoul. more to be seen and experience and not to mention bangkok. woo hooo.. i can't wait.
yesterday was.. a mixed emotion.
RELIEVED. finished mid semester :)come what may. my finance marks. i dont deserve to pass. i really don't. so whatever it is.
HIGH. woo hoo. BBQ at the ROOFTOP.it was really fun fun fun. i love my class mates :)
photo credits to ms carmen. it was really good to pig out. there's suppose to more people but dunno wad happen to them.
when every one else went home. hung out with all the boys till dawn. crazy. they're such a gossiper. 10000000x worse than girls. hahaha. sometimes its really so much easier to talk to men. no preconceived notion.. no strings attached. but i nearly did la. look at stars.. figuring out constellation.. talking about girls (yes, i dont know i am in this part of the conversation)...
haiz. next party in a month!!!!!!
DISAPPOINTMENT and hurt. udah nothing bisa describe feeling nya. napa seh? napa? gua give up deh. see what the future will bring. udah cape.. tiap hari kaya gini terus.
EXCITEMENT. one more day to hong kong.. seoul and bangkok trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHOP TILL I DROP.
I AM GOING TO INDULGE AND FORGET ABOUT THE *^^%^%&^%&%^%#$$$#%(*^ OF LIFE!!!!!!!
I'm such a good girl
from monday to thursday. i am practically at home for every lunch dinner.
OMG. it is so RARE for me. haha.
I HAVENT BEEN studying.
tomorrow is finance paper. but up till now. im still slacking.
and this one subject which i seldom go for lecture and never do tutorial work.
slack schedule
11.00 to 12.00 - at school
12.00 to 1.00- come back from sch.. dozed off in bus
1.00 to 2.00 - pig out and watch oprah
2 t0 2.05 - stoning
2.05 to 2.40- online. looking at gossip website
2.45 to 3.30- afternoon nap
3.30 to 4.00 - clear out closet
4.00 to 4.30- watch hillary duff special on mtv
4.30 to 5.00- watch ellen
5.00 to now... still blogging
planning to meet tika and ven at 6.30.. so when to study?
confirm fail la
Emerge. Nothing is impossible.
First two days of emerge was truly phenomenal. can't wait for the next few session :)
Sally won the beauty pageant. it was really cool. with all the guest suprises. haha. even though not that familar with some.
God works through brokeness.
especially for today. there's no session in the morning. so kind of relaxed a bit.
Watched the holidays. i know the movie was like eons ago. but i really really like it.
especially when kate winslet said this:
I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually aches in places that you didn’t know you had it inside you. No matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you joined or how many chardonay s you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night, you going through every detail and wonder how you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how the hell for the brief moment that you can think you were that happy ……… And hoping that little pieces of your soul will come back and those fuzzy feelings. That you will eventually began to fade. but it was a throughly enjoyable movie. somehow i don't know why this struck me so much.
oh yah prissy darling is back. oh god.. really missed all my cousins. all the kokos abroad. mary. angeline. missing all of you all.
well anyways ...
Happy weekend to everyone!
especially for those who's having hols. LUCKY YOU!
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